Friday, September 15, 2006


Will someone please call a surgeon
who can crack my ribs and repair this broken heart
that you're deserting for better company?

"Nothing Better" -The Postal Service

It's not that I like being melancholic, but sometimes I find myself just sitting around brooding about my failures, relationships that I shoved to the side over the years. I think that I am ultimately responsible for my own happiness, but it's hard when I look at the past and don't feel that I can make good decisions for the future.


Chris said...

Kate, don't stress. That is entirely normal for you to feel that way. I felt that way in my early 20's. I think it is part of the transition of truly becoming an adult.

I've been working on an entry about mistakes. Walter Anderson says "When you do nothing, you don't make mistakes; when you don't make mistakes, you do nothing."

He also states: You are not your mistake. Study your error only for what you can gain from it. Do not waste time and effort agonizing over your guilt. It's a lot easier to b e honest with yourself when you recognize that you and your mistake are not the same thing, that you are not a faioure because something you do fails.

My Blog

ru said...

Hey, me too. I'm glad that we're friends and I hope that whatever is worrying you will be resolved. Sometimes life sucks, but everything evens out eventually, right? I'm not very good at being super-optimistic right now. I think I'll go listen to Starflyer 59 and contemplate life. Let me know how everything goes.

~~Silk said...

Relationship decisions are different from, say, financial decisions, because you can't know a relationship decision was bad unless you know exactly what the future would have been otherwise.

My marrying Ex#1 was an extremely bad decision. EXCEPT that had I not married him, I would not have run away to join The Company, and would not have eventually met Jay.

My marrying Ex#2 was an extremely bad decision. EXCEPT that had I not married him, I would not have gotten the therapy I needed, and would not have had Daughter (after four failed pregnancies).

So, it looks to me like even bad decisions sometimes get you where you're really supposed to go.

(Another difference between "bad" relationship decisions and bad financial decisions, the relationship ones can be easier to fix. In the meantime, may I recommend a cat?)