Sunday, June 11, 2006

The End of an Era?

I think that 28 is a bit too old to be doing things I don't want to do just to please other people. If I had my way right now, I would just disappear with a barely-audible *poof* and perhaps a wisp of smoke for dramatic effect.

You are probably wondering WTF I'm talking about right now.

You are probably also wondering whether or not I actually returned empty-handed from the Canadian pharmacy the other week.

I now have less than a week left in this city, and there's still so much to do. I'm just sick of all of the unneccessary time-killers like lunch today and another lunch tomorrow because so-and-so couldn't make it today. I am not a goodbye person. I would much rather just leave and let everything sort itself out later. I already know which friendships are maintainable and which aren't. The rest is all just fake pleasantries.

So in the meantime, I am cranky. I am saying the things that I'm thinking without a filter even more than normal. At lunch today, when a Jewish friend of mine made a big show of the rosary necklace her husband gave her for graduation (don't ask), I asked her if it burned-- which was not very nice of me.

By the end of the week, I'll probably be so intolerable to be around that poor Ru will end up wearing headphones and bringing some sort of makeshift room divider for the cab of the rental truck!

I know it is naive to think I won't continue to put myself in empty social situations in the future, but hopefully I will be a little more saavy about who I choose to spend time with. I don't know why I am so careful about not wanting to offend others. I dread constantly going to all of these stupid get togethers, but in the end, it is no one else's fault but my own that I'm there.

1 comment:

The Phoenix said...

I do hope your implying that our friendship will continue!!! Just so you know ahead of time I will hunt you down and scold you if you forget about me!!!

Also, I didn’t think the burning comment was rude at all and your special man friend found it quite funny!!! It is such a shame that you will not be seeing him (I’m sure that partly explains your mood).