Tricks and Men In Black

The other morning when I went into work, there were a slew of patients waiting for me. One was a guy who obviously needed suturing done on his face, and appeared to still be a little intoxicated. There was more blood on his shirt than I thought the lacerations warranted, so I made him strip down to make sure that he hadn't been stabbed anywhere in the chest. (Stranger unnoticed injuries have been found on drunk patients.) He laughed at me when I explained my reasoning. Apparently, the blood all over his shirt was fake and part of his Halloween costume. The joke was on me, I guess.

----------

My shift started to clear up, when I suddenly looked up to see three men in long, black trench coats staring at me from across the department. At first, I thought maybe I was about to be indicted, but as it turned out, they were with the Secret Service. Apparently, some political figure was going to be in town in the near future, and they wanted to check out nearby hospitals, "just in case."

Their timing was perfect, as just before that I had just seen a paranoid schizophrenic that was screaming about people being out to get her, with hyper-religiosity, and making all sorts of bizarre statements. "WE HAVE A CURE FOR AIDS, YOU FOOLS: IT'S MOSQUITOES!" As it was, she was loud, threatening, and required multiple sedatives. I cannot imagine what seeing their little entourage would have done to her.

I did not have any personal conversations with the Secret Service, which was just as well, because they probably would have decided to bring in their own physician.