The other week, I had two bizarre high-heel related injuries. The first was a young woman who got clubbed in the face by a stiletto. She had a D-shaped laceration present just below her eye. A few centimeters different, and she would have been like that guy in whatever horror flick that was dies after a stiletto to the eyeball by a crazy stalker woman.
The very next night, I had a 30's male come in with an eye injury. He had a lot of bruising and swelling just under his left eyebrow. He also had some loss of his peripheral vision, and his pupils were asymmetric, and the one on the left was not quite round like it should be. Into the CT scanner he went, and there was no bleed. Ophthomology came and saw him and diagnosed him with an iris sphincter tear. As for how he injured his eye, it turned out that it happened in a strip club. Apparently, he was sitting too close to the stage, and when one of the "dancers" swung around the pole, she ended up hitting him with her heel. As you can imagine, there was a lot of chuckling about his mechanism of injury.
So maybe instead of calling them FMP's, we should call them "Don't F With Me Pumps".